100% honesty

I 99% sure that I am only doing this because I am being stubborn. I am disguising pride with courage. (And I know it too). I know it is because I am too proud to go back on what I said. Or maybe because I am making up this fantasy in my head hoping to make me look so much better than I am. (Most likely both). I am sorry. Even though I am doing this in declaration that it is all for you, and because it would make things a little less messy, in the back of my head I am at the same time fucking everything up to protect what little pride I have. I am being picky and instead of being mature and giving you what you/we deserve, I am just hiding in the back of the back closet. What I do feel sincere about, even though I can not see it entirely happening, which in case this was all a big joke of me and my pitifulness, is that I can keep it in that closet until forever ends.

There. Maybe now I will feel a little better after I typed/tucked behind a blog of pointlessness.